Muscle Memory

So I'm crap at keeping up nowadays, I know. But my schedule is as ridiculous and mind bending as they come, so maintaining a blog or two is, unfortunately, not on my list of priorities.

I'm struggling with my dance classes. Remembering choreography and maintaining it is a muscle memory sort of thing, and my choreography muscle is feeble and atrophied from never having had to truly use it, so the speed of learning in these classes is really really challenging me. Contemporary, ballet and Broadway styles - three classes, three workouts (two boot camps!), three combinations, one confused fancer brain. I try to practice when I have time, but I can't remember the choreography to practice, so I tried writing it down, but I also don't remember it enough to write it. I tried filming it, but my camera is broken. I'm starting to stress out. Some days I wonder why I got into this school.

What do you do when trying your best isn't quite enough?

Starting Fresh

My sincerest apologies - this summer turned into working, sleeping, working, sleeping, working, sleeping, school things, and working some more. I got little to no working out done, but all of that is about to change.

New Studio on Broadway Dance Classes!

I've been thrown headlong into ballet, Broadway and contemporary dance style classes, plus a yoga class. Ballet is going to be a test of ankle strength, focus and willpower. Broadway is going to be a test of overall strength and stamina, and I'm guessing contemporary will be similar, since it's taught by the same man. I have my brand new ballet slippers all sewn up and ready to go, my jazz shoes slightly broken in, and now I just have to break my body into shape.

Hopefully I can track my progress a little better this time around - I already feel different from the lifestyle in New York. Walking, walking, walking, constantly walking; it really does change the way a person functions and how their body reacts. I'm more tired than I have been in a long while, even if I've just been out grocery shopping.

And a 5, 6, a 5, 6, 7, 8!

Adennoying.

Sick again. Allergies have transformed into swollen adenoids and tonsils, causing a disturbing lack of swallowing ability and vocal usage. I have medication from the clinic from the same doc who kind of screwed me over a bit a few months back with a misdiagnosis. I should have said something this time, but I was incredibly stupid and didn't. BUT, if this happens again, to any degree, I am requesting those useless blobs of tissue at the back of my throat be removed once and for all for the sake of my career and well-being. I don't care how non-kosher that may be, in the world of medicine, demanding I get cut up a bit for the benefit of a career I'm hoping to establish, but they'll either find a way to fix it for good, or they're getting rid of my tonsils and adenoids. End of story. I have to sing and speak on stage - that instrument cannot be compromised by the threat of sudden stupid illness.

I can has ROPE OF JUMPING

I finally got a jump rope! I'm so stoked - now I can get crazy cardio WITHOUT running around the block like an OCD fool.

I'm so pumped I might just change and go jump for as long as I can. Hopefully my headphones can stand the abuse, or jumping will get awful boring sans music.

I was really good about my food intake today, I rewarded my healthiness with a small side of ice cream with my dinner of fruit and sushi. Now I might just have to go burn it off with my NEW JUMP ROPE.

Tony Night

Technically it was last night, now, but this evening was the celebration of the 62nd Annual American Theatre Wing's Tony Awards. Insert cheering and happy buzzing. It really was as inspiring as ever, I'm just supremely tired right now.

Bravo to the winners, and a huge bravo to the Eugene O'Neill Theatre Center of Waterford, Connecticut, for getting the Regional Theatre Tony Award - that little theatre down the road got a freakin Tony! Neat stuff, man.

I can't find a picture that effectively describes what I'm thinking of right now, since the sheer phenomenal ability of those Broadway dancers absolutely overwhelms and stuns me no matter how many shows or clips of shows I see. It's incredible to watch, but terrifying as well, because that, above all, is my true Achilles heel. I have to learn to dance.

Please note exhibit A:

This is from Come Fly With Me, a dance musical set to the crooning sounds of Frank Sinatra.

Beautiful choreography, blah blah blah...

Please observe Karin Plaintadit, the lovely woman being dipped by Keith Roberts.



Now please observe Karin Plaintadit's legs.

That's all.



I might abuse my body this summer, but it's only to help me. I have to remember that. I need this. I have to fight for this.

Frustration

Got pretty frustrated yesterday. I ran, so that was good, and though I walked for about 100 yards towards the end, I kept it to a near jog and did some arm movements designed to keep burning. Read it in a magazine. But I tried to halve my portions of food and not eat after 6, so that I wouldn't just hold on to any carbs I ate and that would go straight to my butt or something, but I was just so hungry because I'm not used to it.

It's hard to not have the money or the resources to hit a gym all the time or be able to afford the really healthy organic food. There are limited health options in my house, and I'm trying to make do.

Found this on Yahoo this morning, the workout that Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson and Shakira use to tone their legs. Looks tough. I'm having difficulty maintaining a routine.

Here's the woman's website, Tracy Anderson Method - I took a peek at it, wanted to see some of the stuff she does, and it is majorly intense and requires time and money and motivation that I don't currently have. I'm motivated, I just don't have the ability to do all this stuff yet.

Frustration abounds. But it's time to get my ass out of bed and go work out. The Tony's are tonight. :)

Workout!

The Pro Ana Nation website, though incredibly saddening, does have a workout routine that seems simple and effective. I'm not looking to go ana, obviously, I just want to tone and get in shape. No starvation for the girl who loves food.

Boot Camp Workout.

Research

I wasn't in the mood to run this morning (I also woke up at 11:30 ((hard to get solid sleep when the phone is ringing off the hook from telemarketers all morning)) so I think I'll go later, if the weather stays cool) so I've been doing yoga and crunches and other random sorts of things in front of the TV watching the World Cup. I had some organic granola for breakfast with a banana (more like lunch, considering when I rolled out of bed), and hopefully that will keep me from snacking too much. I want to make up for the past two days of limited activity.

As I've done planks and glute exercises, I've been looking up random health info online, something a newbie to nutrition could understand. A list of necessary vitamins came up, and it's very informative.

"Vitamins are essential for every human being to survive. They help your bodies grow and make them strong so they can fight diseases. Vitamins are also essential for healthy skin, hair, and nails. Many foods, especially fruits and vegetables, are filled with vitamins. The vitamins found in food have been proven to prevent diseases. If you eat below 1500 calories a day, a vitamin and mineral supplement may be necessary.

Vitamin A – is needed for new cell growth, healthy skin, hair, and tissues, and vision in dim light. Good sources include dark green and yellow vegetables and yellow fruits, such as broccoli spinach, turnip greens, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, cantaloupe, and apricots, and in animal sources such as liver, milk, butter, cheese, and whole eggs.

Vitamin B1 – is needed for energy metabolism and the proper function of the nervous system.
Good sources include whole grains, soybeans, peas, liver, kidney, lean cuts of pork, legumes, seeds, and nuts.

Vitamin B2 – is needed for energy metabolism, building tissue, and helps maintain good vision.
Good sources include dairy products, lean meats, poultry, fish, grains, broccoli, turnip greens, asparagus, spinach, and enriched food products.

Vitamin B6 - is needed for cell growth.
Good sources include chicken, fish, pork, liver, kidney, whole grains, nuts, and legumes.

Vitamin B12 - is needed for building proteins in the body, red blood cells, and normal function of nervous tissue.
Good sources include liver, kidney, yogurt, dairy products, fish, clams, oysters, nonfat dry milk, salmon and sardines.

Vitamin C – is an antioxidant vitamin needed for the formation of collagen to hold the cells together and for healthy teeth, gums and blood vessels; improves iron absorption and resistance to infection.
Good sources include many fresh vegetables and fruits, such as broccoli, green and red peppers, collard greens, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, lemon, cabbage, pineapples, strawberries, citrus fruits.

Vitamin D – promotes absorption and use of calcium and phosphate for healthy bones and teeth.
Good sources include milk (fortified), cheese, whole eggs, liver, salmon, and fortified margarine. The skin can synthesize vitamin D if exposed to enough sunlight on a regular basis.

Vitamin E – protects red blood cells and helps prevent destruction of vitamin A and C.
Good sources include margarine and vegetable oil (soybean, corn, safflower, and cottonseed), wheat germ, green leafy vegetables.

Vitamin K – is necessary for normal blood clotting and synthesis of proteins found in plasma, bone, and kidneys.
Good sources include spinach, lettuce, kale, cabbage, cauliflower, wheat bran, organ meats, cereals, some fruits, meats, dairy products, eggs."

This info, sadly, comes from pro-ana-nation.com, a website made by a young woman battling her anorexia and documenting how it has destroyed her life. I am extremely fortunate never to have fallen into an eating disorder, and I hope that my newfound fervor for health and shaping my body does not reach an unhealthy level.

6/8 Yeah!

It may sound feeble, but it's a start, my friends - I ran the mile loop around my house without stopping. Usually I make it in about 11 - 13 minutes with some walking interspersed, but today I managed to make it around without stopping to walk. It's a small milestone, but it's a fairly big hurdle, considering how out of shape I am.

I think the majority of the reason I made it today is because there were a million people outside at this hour, and there's something very motivating about running in front of people. Every street I turned onto and considered stopping to walk, there was another group of people or another person there to observe as I trotted by, and I didn't want to suffer the slight embarrassment of being too out of shape to continue running while there were people watching. And I was wearing my NYU Tisch shirt, so I had to show off a little. ;)

Milestone reached - I don't know if I can maintain that, but I'm going to try. Now that I know I am capable, maybe it will only get easier from here. I don't know, but I sure hope so. And the pool is now open, so there will be all sorts of cardio happening once the water warms up a bit.

Now for some dinner and a shower. Cheers!

Nice Start, Huh?

I give this baby blog a swift shove out of the starting gate... and then promptly drop it on it's out of shape butt. Go me.

Since trying to kick start this separate effort, a lot of crazy crap has gone down in my life, which has, unfortunately, left me struggling in this department. The weekend following Fancer's creation, I was playing happy little homemaker with a friend of mine while her significant other and my family were out of town (not together, of course, that would be weird, but we were still left alone). We kept active, but it was mostly a weekend made for some fabulous (and healthy!) cooking and some light exercise with plenty of walking around various locales.

Tuesday comes and goes, and then it's 48 hours of anxiety and hell prepping for a wedding on Friday. I was singing in my voice teacher's wedding and have been having communication issues with several of my friends who were also attending the wedding, and I'm tired of people's bullshit anyway, and I was physically and mentally in this state like I had been repeatedly run over by a truck. It certainly was not the best week to try and continue a fledgling health routine.

Today, I thought about starting up again, but mentally I needed a day simply to separate myself from everything and decompress. The stress levels were reaching critical mass, so I spent the day power-washing the deck and reading Cujo before watching NCIS with my parents and one late-night romp into a documentary about The Doors.

The Doors' documentary actually was what made me come back into myself and prompt me to try and start working at bettering myself physically again. Nothing in particular really made me think that, no striking photo or video clip, but something about the entire piece just struck me. I need to really work at making myself better, really working for me. This is my journey, my life and my future that I need to create for myself. I have to be that one step ahead of every other middle-class white female twenty-something if I want to succeed. And I do. I'm going to. I have to.

So, with the beautiful and tragic Jim Morrison serenading my summer, I'm going to restart this adventure tomorrow with some yoga and some more soul-cleansing. I need to unwind. I'm too high-strung, so maybe some mental and physical fasting? I have no idea. I'm making this up as I go.

"You can never burn out if you're not on fire."

Welcome to Diary of a Fancer

This is an extension of The Spotlight Sunburn designed to focus solely on my escapades into the physical, getting into shape, staying in shape, enhancing my skills as a fancer (read: fake dancer).

Putting all the physical efforts into one place seemed more useful to me than interspersing the Spotlight with wearied posts about how I went running, how out of shape I am, blah blah blah. This is just an offshoot - my ultimate goal is still to document the trials and tribulations of my theatrical life, and this is, for sure, a trial and a tribulation. Twenty years old and so out of shape... let's do this thing!


I was motivated to start my summer make-over, as it were, by the intimidation I feel at heading off to NYU in the fall. I'm in the New Studio for Musical Theatre, so there will be real dancers everywhere, and I want to be in decent shape so I can at least keep up. It will be easier to perfect my pirouettes and time steps if I'm not gasping for air all the time.

So, in addition to this summer project of getting in shape, I'm also starting to log what I eat and to start consuming healthier foods. Call me paranoid, but I'm a registered member of CalorieCount.about.com, which is an incredibly easy way to keep track of your intake and what's in what you eat. It's an eye opener, but it's motivating me to eat better so I feel better.

Hopefully I'll keep up with this and it will take off. I've managed to keep up with my routine for about five days now, so I'm proud that I've kept at it for this long. Let's make it all summer.